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CORNELIA PĂUN HEINZEL: „LADY GURU”

Cornelia Păun Heinzel :”Lady Guru”

Cu mulţumiri scriitorului din Norvegia, care a verificat şi

corectat traducerea, asigurându-i astfel o calitate ridicată

 

„Oh no ! thought Buzunărici. All my money from my account is gone ! And I can’t do anything. I can’t complain to no one about this. And even if I could, it would be in vain, because we were the ones to come up with this thing, so nobody could resolve a complain, because it isn’t taken in consideration ! But I’ve never thought that I’d need something, like this. I am superior after all, not an average man… „.

And then the man because optimistic, how he always did : „At least I’m not the only one. Some of my respectable colleagues were the clients of the only Guru Lady too and they were fooled in the same way. And, like me, they can’t do anything about it…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Marina Cotineaţă was born in Bumbăreţu de Jos, a forgotten village in the center of Moldova. When she was a second grader, at the IQ test she was the worst of students, because she had the mental age of a 3 year old . But she was the meanest of her class.

She soon moved to town, with her family, where she hardly graduaded. After graduation, she got hired at the textile factory „Omătul mare”, where her duties included washing the chemical tubes. But she couldn’t esche the habit of harming other people. She wasn’t pleased unless she harms another person..Her colleagues began to get acquaimted to this habit and they announced their superiors and they got the idea to emluzzle her as a spy, recruit the informer.

-Such a talent, like yours, Miss Marina, rarely can be found ! Such a pitgts loose it. If you will be a good spy, you will be rewarded with money and much more…

From that moment, Marina began to tell about all her neighbors, all her colleagues, all they said, did, and… she liked to tell lies about them, because she wanted them to get in trouble with The Communist Security.

One day, the woman recived from the activist named Dragavei a tentant laising proposal.

– Lady Cotineaţă ! We have mister Coruptino, our man, from Bumbareţu de Sus, who gossips is softwos a woman. He works as a porter at the neighboring section. He unloads the chemicals substances in recipients. He’s kind of a gold digger, is materialistic, right, he does businesses because he’s a specialist in this things. Even the chemical materials disappeared, we saved him, as a bounty for the services that he offerd, he brought us. You two together, I think woudl make a good team. We want to merge you as soon as possible. We think that the results in the couple will be spectacular, because „Where the two, the might is bigger and the enemy wins not”. And all of them will set them by and meeting for a dance night, organised for young workers from the enterprise.

Both of them gossiped their hardworking colleagues, not knowing that they were under the strict watch at the Coruptino pair.

Together the young adults gathered the information received and gave each ot her many evil ideas, very sly ones.

This thing made them close. They had common concerns and passions! To do as much harm to those around them as possible and then enjoy the victories, then be happy because of it ! So, as a result, their marriage appeared to be natural, seemed normal..

But it didn’t last long. The socialist regime is changing and their activity was changed when the Communist security changed, no longer existed, the work of soldiers is no longer taking place. Marina and Doru had lost their main activity, work, but also their greatest passion. They really felt full lack of it.

Until, It samed that one day, when the woman woke up in the lab where she worked, with professor Safta Bramburilă, from Jegmăneşti.

-I found out about the effervescent activity of the foundry that you have carried out with conscientiousness. Don’t you want to join me at me University ? There are many places because no one wants to study „Chemistry” today. They don’t even have, would not even have that, she had nothing to do with her. But you , you have opportunities.

You only need a paper, a university license. No specialization matters. After you graduate, you will become my right hand. I need in the future people like you. I will hired you starting from novel right now, as a secretary, at my cabinet. When you graduate, you will be in the highest position, you will be able to do exactly what you want

Together we will change the world ! We’ll destroy the world, everything what’s old, of course… And after five years, what Mrs. Safta Bramburila’s said happened. Their expectations have been exceeded. And Marina said she was born lucky. She was born in a lucky sign..

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Madame Coruptino had a serious reason for presenting herself at the Commission . She wanted to fiind new clients for the recently opened peat natural therapy salon.

Marina was a very thin woman 1.70 centimeters tall, with a pointy nose , like a beak, thin lips, small eyes which played in her head like fireflies, with evil eyes and a mean look. She had short curly hair dyed platinum blonde short-haired, permanent hair, blonde-dyed platinum…

– What a delight, Mrs. Coruptino! a sixty-year-old man exclaimed, elegantly dressed as his eyes slid open after the woman. But what wind does it bring you to us? the man continued, his voice soft.

-Such a pleasurable meeting, Madame Coruptino, said a sixty year old man, elegantly dressed, whose eyes gentily followed the woman’s marees. What lenerys you hin ? the man continued with a sweet voices.

He is Buzunărici, a former builder, today. Ohhh ! Is I was a woman dancer, today I would be a big senator, the woman thought looking at a middle aged women, with her nose up in the air.

„It’s Mr. Buzunărici a former welder, today… Ufff! If I were a dancing bar, I would have been a great senator today, „thought the woman, looking at a woman between two ages, her nose thrown into the wind. „But my Dorel would not have left me that way ! And anyway, time is not lost. I do not know what the future holds for me, that since I know I’m succeeding without any problems. It’s like I signed a pact with the devil. Or… maybe even… „.

– Aaaa, that’s easy ! said the woman. An
approval for a private university , said the women.

-Aaaa ! A trifle ! the woman replied. An approval
  for a private university, let’s do some students, too few at us! In my native village, two are left without a license, and I can not let myself, who assure education at the highest levels of corruption, to do so. There is no villager who does not have a degre.

I will be expecting you soon in my new cabinet renomed for natural therapy. The woman gaw aroay leusi new card that contained information about the address and the phone number along with a colorful flyer full of suggestive images.

You, however, said the woman’s voice and body, and I was soon waiting for you in my famous office for a natural therapy session. And the woman stretched out the presentation card, on which the address and phone were printed, along with a beautifully colored folder full of suggestive images.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

– You won’t regrett ! You will feel like a twenty year-old ! You just have to do is to make an appointment. I have lots of clients, only important personalities, just like you! the woman continues. All my patients were pleased and came back for more.

– For sure, after hard work, you need to relax, too. I saw that in the last years. I’ve had enough of even the most expensive and the most exotic places, because I have lots at money. I frequiently visit all types of beauty salons : for massage, for make up, for gymnastics, for hair style, for manicure, for pedicure, for dyeing… But I need something else, something new, and I belive you are the way to achieve my goal, said the man.

– For sure , my dear gentleman Buzunărici.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

After a week, Mrs. Coruptino received a phone call while she was in her cabinet at the ministry.

– I am Sile Buzunărici. You recently invited me at your prestigious cabinet. I want to change, myself to become another man. Please tell me how much does it costs me for an audience, so I can send my money in your account. Money is not a problem for me.

– Wednesday, your majesty. At noon, I will be waiting for you at the address from the flyer. You will truly be really pleased for what is going to happened to yourself, said the woman happily.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Buzunărici got down from his jeep, the new type of vehicle he just bought. It was in front of an impousing villa, like a story, tale palace. „She has enough money, just like us, „thought the man. „And his huge salary, from which he could feed on, whole village, is nothing for Mrs. Coruptino, compared to what she does beside. I just know what to mean when the money is like a fountain with continuous operation”.

He song the lull rings and the door opened automatically. He walked by foot on an alley, full of charming statues of white marble until the door of the villa. The woman was waiting for him at the entrance, his face with his sly smile characteristic.

Buzunarici wasn’t sure at what he should be more fascinated of the woman who, even thought was not a beauty, had gone for well over forty years, was dressed in a sensual, transparent red veil dress like the blood or the inside of the villa. His heart began to beat faster. The atmosphere surrounding him incredible. He had the feeling that he had stepped straight into paradise.

Then wave candles , painted clay pots burn sparkling, conical, parallelepipedic or pyramid candles, which gave off incredible aromas and the music was fantastic, the ears seemed to be enchanted by musical harmonies such as fairy-tale sirens that took your minds entirely. The man thought that madame Coruptino, for arIt seemed to the man that Mrs. Coruptino, for a moment. Was the most beautiful woman in the world, on Earth.

-I’m glad you came here, Mr Buzunarici ! she said.
– Vasile ! or Sile ! Call me by with my little name, this is how you should call me, said the excited man.

– Of course, Mr. Sudo… „Sena … „Sile,” said Marina, confused. First you must to leave your troubles, worries, daily concerns aside. Get away from them. But first you must relax..

– Andddddd… how can I do this ? wondering Buzunarici My money are so stressfull= The stacks of pity press on my overwhelming. And worrying that I have nothing to do with them …

– No problem ! I will help you with these difficulties, to get rid at your problems, which aged your soul for a hundred years, are mahing your soul older. All these clothes are crushing you, „the woman said, pointing to the man’s elegant suit. You limit your personal development, your own field of action, your deployment. = They are keeping you in a place where you can’t evolve.

You have to be free, you must feel free, nothing should to hinder your spirit from wondering, it must be able to fly freely. Forget everything that bothers you… starting with your tie, your jacket… and the rest…

– Okay, but… you…” said the man.

– „No problem, = Don’t worry, Mr. Sudor … Senator … I mean ” Sile,” said the woman. I will do the same thing. I too will forget=deny my vaporous veil that surrounds me and we shall enter, to join together in the paradise of the worlds … and the woman throws her garment away at a distance. Then he approached Mr. Buzunărici and helped him delicately to get rid of his garments that he did not even realize when he reached Adam’s suit. The sparkling smells, the enchanting music, the enticing atmosphere, the woman’s touch, all seemed miraculous …

The frequences which were coming the own a smoke, the nice music, the calm atmosphere, the woman’s touch everything seemed marveillous to the man.

-Serve, said the woman, giving him a cup with a hot redesh drink, stretching out a hot cup with a reddish drink, from which the hungry steam was sprawled chaotically going up through the atmosphere. It’s delicious ! It contains african roiboos !

– But… isn’t’ it… poisonous? asked the man interjected, remembering that he had read something like thiss a while ago= recently.

– Not way ! Have a drink ! It’s a magic liqueur. You are going to enter the world of dreams, where everyting you want is feasible, anything that is possible, everything you whatever wish can be done and can be fulfilled.

The man picks up the liquid with greed after the first up and then goes on with the slack. „Indeed it is a magical potion, which can be consumed only by gods. The gods have access, like me…” he thought.

The woman stood sat down in the lotus position on a huge, blue satin pillow. Then she made the man a sign=he signaled to the man to stay in the same pose, pointing him the huge blue pillow two meters array.

The man stoed down sat seamlessly imitating his mentor’s posture, hardly copying his mentor’s pose. He had never tried standing that way before, to stand in this position. And so, they were facing each other had arrived, face to face. From smoky candles, steam started going up began to form, more and more though, creating a fine canvas of smoke, a steam net.

Buzunărici felt like everything was spinning around him. He could feel how everything spinns around. He was completely dizzy and he did not know if whether what was happening was a dream or reality..

His eyes had came uncontrollably to the small, dry, and fallen breasts of the woman and slowly descended, then became brave, determined by the woman’s unsteady attitude.

„She’s just a psychologist. She has’not any inhibitions!” he thought.         „I think the natural meeting deserved all the money, fully!” ”It seems that this meeting was tatally worth the money me”.

The musical rhythms=notes began slowly to intensify and involuntarily the two began to dance to their rhythm. It samed like a wild ritual, an African tribe’s wild ritual mating.

Vasile observed how his senses had exploded, and he realized that, as the woman told him, he felt like in his youth period, even it look a lot to remember how was, as if he had been in his youth, though he had not remembered for a long time how he it was ..

Lady Guru danced, gesticulating and speaking continuously. Vasile felt how the words of the woman, miraculously penetrates into every part of his body, vent through his bady, invading every strand of blood flowing through her veins, gently touching every centimeter of skin covering her body, like the indescribable aromas that invaded her nostrils and which diffused chaos within him.

The musical notes played very nicely, were dripping fine through his body, like the ambrosia in the glasses of the gods. „Now I’shale give you of the vins reuning in your bady back in this place. I’m already another! I have so much energy in me as a teenager, „said Vasile thought impressed. „As if we were together in a huge magnetic field. I suddenly became the most wonderful and happiest person on Earth. „

– Now I have to cleanse you of all the evils in your body that you have collected from the people you have been in contact with. Spread your back in this place, „said Marina, pointing to a very low bed in the middle of the room.

Buzunărici sat down and noticed how his body had penetrated the interior of the upholstery of the upholstery up to the floor. Then there was a smell of fresh hay, which reminded him of his childhood, of his native village.

He first thought it seemed to him. But he immediately saw Marina Navy as he covered his body, wrapped it with the dry wounds that stirred him and stung him at the same time.

The woman wrapped him up nicely tight, completely like a shroud with a white sheet. She was still spinning around the bed with her hands raised in the air, holding scented candles in them, out of which the strange, appealing odors that had been used to fly.

The man feeled like he didn’t know what happened with him when she awoke up, Marina just left to unravel it from the harsh straw coat, to unwrap hin.

– Now every bad inside is gone from you. Forget it ! said the woman, pointing to the sheet, white blanket, completely blackened, like smoke and soot. Now you are clean and innocent like a a newborn baby. And the dirty material in the bin, cloth throws in the garbage, what to remove all the evils that have gathered in it until now.

– Oh, this is I have felt ! Vasile said, stunned. Just like I’m a baby!

Mr. Buzunarici came pleased at the next therapy sessions scheduled by the charming Marina.

„I think that my school teachers have underestimated me. If my teacher saw what I made, how do I play now with all, what would she say ?”. The woman thinked delightedly. „My creativity is now very high, at high levels.”

Epilog

They have gone five months full of magic with the charming lady Guru.

Dreamy, Buzunărici was sitted at a table in a euxopious restaurant situated on the French Riviera. He had just finished his meal when the desperate waiter brought him the check. Back in the country his consumptions where disbursing. The operation was not it necesary anymore. Here, though…

  • Dear sir, your acconts are empty. You don’t have anymore euros left. Don’t you by any chance, have any others, asked the waiter.

Who know, Vasile as an old customer of the restaurant… he was as generous as an arabian prince and he gave… him, hat by tips.

  • This can’t be possible, I have herge… amontout.. money that flow like water in my acconts day and night from my businesses. Here is no chance that they can be empty.
  • Check it, also… waiter, said the man..
  • Is they dissappeared miracoulosly, amazing just like my magnificent feelings from when I was going I have a revelation „God, were they se expensive ?”.

It was like a deal with the devil!
And in front at her eyes appeared immediately Mrs. Coruptino, a sweet but true malefic lady, evil embodiment, whem he told her about… to which he had innocently revealed to him, among the peculiar vapors that invaded him during his therapy sessions, his secret accounts … and he saw, for a moment, how his money dancing on drenched rhythms, floating in the enchanting aromas, disappeared through charm, in the fog of mysterious steam, released among the discrete, dizzying sounds of the charming Marina, at Maria sessions …